Counting Blessings

It's been a tough month for Braden and so it's been a tough month for all of us. Braden's unit was deployed to Iraq last week and he took it hard. Very hard. For those of you who don't know, being in a unit is like being in a huge family of brothers (sometimes including sisters, but for Braden, it's brothers). They work together, sweat together, eat together, and learn to function as one literal unit, each soldier performing his task with precision, knowing his own skill and training will eventually be called upon to save the lives of others, possibly his brothers'.

But Braden did not go to Iraq. He was injured on their last deployment and is still awaiting a medical board to determine his future with the National Guard. He also started summer school the same week, which is daunting all by itself for him. He's not a school person.

Things got to be so intensely stressful for him emotionally, that he experienced seizure-like symptoms. He'd had this once before, during similarly trying times, so I knew what was coming, but it didn't make it much easier to watch or experience. Sometimes he jerks and twitches in his sleep when he is having night terrors, but this time the twitching and jerking increased, until he cried out, his body went rigid, and he stopped breathing.

I counted the seconds--they told me last time that if it lasted longer than three minutes to call 911. Who could sit there for three minutes, just counting? But I counted. Thankfully, I had to endure only 15 seconds of watching my husband tremble stiffly on the bed, his hunds curled on his chest and drool seeping from his mouth. Then his body relaxed and he breathed in grating gasps until finally, his breath eased into a steady rhythm and he woke up. It took him a couple of hours to return to normal (for lack of a better word) but he eventually could speak clearly and his pupils contracted back to a regular size.

But that is over, now. It will probably happen again, and it will probably be hard again. But today I count my blessings. I am grateful that he is home with me, while so many husbands and fathers have to be away from home, fighting for our freedom. I am grateful for the progress he has made and the determination he has to continue fighting for his own freedom from his physical and emotional injuries, now that his calling to his country has passed.

I am grateful that we spent today at the lake, basking in the sunshine and splashing with our children and loving this time we have together. Life never ceases to amaze me, with all its twists and turns, dips and climbs. But then I sit back and watch my children run into the waves, laughing as if life could not be better and I realize that it's true. For us, life could not be more perfect than it is right now. Where we are and what we experience is not by accident. Though times can get unbearably tough and sometimes I'm not sure how we'll get through--today, right now, I'm eternally grateful and happy to be a soldier's wife.